Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
