Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
