this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
