Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Holy sore nipples Batman
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
