I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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