U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
