I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i now understand why vodka
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
