Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
