Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize