My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
