party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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