If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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