I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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