I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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