How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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