You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize