The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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