dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
