dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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