People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
