After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
