did you get engaged???
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
