I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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