Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
