I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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