I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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