Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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