You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
