i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
