I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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