I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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