We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
