id be glad to
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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