I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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