the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
