I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
