Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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