It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
