those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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