Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
