just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
