woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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