"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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