you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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