PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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