when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
