woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize