I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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