Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
