sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
