you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Enjoy the penises
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
