i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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