Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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