Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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