somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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