:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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