Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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