Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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