They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
