Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself

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(417): View more from Missouri

i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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(702): View more from Nevada

think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"

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(630): View more from Illinois

The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.

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