It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
