I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
