It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ttyl tear gas
Be still, my beating vagina.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
