Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
