He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
