Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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